Wednesday Writer’s Corner
I’m a little bitchy today, so I’m standing on my soapbox with a noose around my neck.
Here are my favorite questions from self-published authors on an ebook forum:
How do I get reviews? Why isn’t my book selling? How do I get paid? What should I charge for my book? How can I get a bad review removed? How long will it take to get an agent to notice me?
Are you kidding?
I’ll just be blunt. You have not done your homework. You should stop writing immediately, sell your computer, and take up needlepoint. How many books have you bought on self-publishing? Have you had anyone proofread your blurb? How many articles have you read on marketing? Formatting? Cover Design? Let me guess. Zero.
All right…I’ll give you the short soapbox answers:
How do I get reviews? Sell books.
Why isn’t my book selling? You have no reviews.
How do I get paid? Get a real job.
What should I charge for my book? Doesn’t matter, no one’s buying it anyway.
How can I get a bad review removed? I thought you wanted reviews.
How long will it take to get an agent to notice me? Forever. Like I said, get a real job.